As a copywriter, I love my job. I bounce out of bed every morning, ready to see what the day holds. 99% of my clients are an absolute joy to work with and of course it helps that I’m my own boss.
However, in any profession, there’s always that 1% and so instead of moaning on Facebook, I’ve put together a handy list of what Copywriters want you, clients and colleagues to know.
We Hate it When You Say:
I Could Do It Myself if Only I Had Time
This implies that our job is talentless, that anyone can carry the label of copywriter and we’re akin to your cleaner. You’ve got a dirty job you don’t want to do so you pass it onto someone, who you think won’t do it as well as you (admit it- these things always go together), to save you getting your hands dirty.
In reality, our job does require either a journalism, marketing or English degree, sometimes backed up by a deep understanding of consumer psychology. When you tell us this we know that you’ll either:
Love the work but feel jealous that you couldn’t produce it so will play it down
Love the work but believe you could have done a better job and so resent paying the invoice
Change the work so much that it’s barely recognisable at the end and we’re scared to put our name to it.
Which leads me to:
My Girlfriend/Partner Could do it but I Feel Cheeky Asking
But we know you won’t feel cheeky asking her to look over it and then sending her cutting opinions down the grapevine as you tell us what you (she) thinks we should change. Nevermind your own opinions, that of your staff, your girlfriend once won a story writing award in school so she must be right. (This is not sexist the same applies to boyfriends). It’s odd that the girlfriend NEVER tells the copywriter directly what she thinks is wrong.
It Just Needs a Bit of Oomph Adding – It Will Take 2 Minutes
This means it needs a complete rewrite and a whole new personality inventing for the brand
I Could Get the Articles for Half your Price but I Like Your Style of Writing
Please feel free to buy articles for half my price, I’ll see you in a month when you realise why they are so cheap
You Are So Lucky to Work from Home
Pal, this isn’t luck, this is blood, sweat and tears, working round the clock and living off bread and beans for weeks. We made a LOT of sacrifices to be able to do the job we love and we’re not complaining we just know, not one iota was down to luck. It’s a pinch of talent, a dollop of tenacity, a spoonful of humour, a withdrawal of humility and a bucket load of hard work.
If I Cut Out Fifty Words Will the Price Go Down?
Sure, would you ask the same when buying a car? “Just leave a wheel off and cut the price by 25%”
It’s the same theory. No matter how many words, (although yes, product descriptions cost less than full web pages), if you cut it to save money, the copy won’t work how it was intended.
It’s All About Me
*head in hands* There is a rare breed of clients that sell products or services on the internet and somehow believe that their website is their portal for telling everyone about their lives.
This includes personal blog posts, telling people about their weekend on sites selling shampoo and sharing their music taste with visitors when they’re trying to convince them to buy plumbing services.
If you’re a celebrity, a life coach, or a person of interest then yes, let’s make it about you. If you’re selling something other than yourself, please lets focus on the products/ services and your actual customers.
Top Tip: The only person that will read your blogs about your weekend is your mother. Customers will be put off as they only want to know if you can deliver what they want for the best price on time.
Someone Told Me I Should Use Keywords
A little knowledge can be destructive. If you’re a trained SEO expert, that’s great. If not please trust that your copywriter has adequate SEO training to do what’s best for your brand. We will research your target market along with keywords but we’ll also produce copy that doesn’t get flagged as keyword stuffed spam. We keep up to date with every Google update so you don’t have to. We’ll happily work alongside your SEO team but if you ask for 5% density we’re outta here.
Think about it, there is only a handful of ways any copywriter can entwine Find Cheap Cleaning Company UK into the copy without it looking completely ridiculous.
I’ll Pay On My Invoice Terms Not Yours
We send an invoice to be paid immediately on receipt. You tell us you pay your invoices every sixty days. We should accept this? Sometimes, when discussed before hand with larger companies this is fine but otherwise, consider this.
You walk into Waitrose, you buy a trolley load of food. You tell the checkout person you’ll pay in sixty days after the food has been eaten. How does that work out for you?
Think of other scenarios:
Your car at the garage – try to get your car back from it’s MOT when you tell the garage they have to wait sixty days
An auction you won on Ebay – will the item be there after the sixty days has passed?
We’re doing you a huge favour by not asking for 100% BEFORE we deliver. Your job takes time to complete and once submitted, heaven forbid, we do expect to be paid. Please don’t order work from us unless you have the money available in the bank already.